THE BEST OF 2011 AWARDS.

With no mention of Skyrim guaranteed!

The entirety of the internet has made a list, and I’ve decided this is the year I won’t be left out. Two things to note: I am making the award categories up as I go, and my opinions are fact. Also for the sake of brevity, I won’t be putting much more than a sentence per award. But that format is subject to change at any time during this post. If none of this puts your bum in a rift, let’s get this show on the road.

BEST XBOX 360 EXCLUSIVE:

This is actually unrelated to Tron and that Daft Punk album.

 

Outland (Arcade) – 2011 was truly the year that exclusives died, with Xbox 360 only having three notable exclusive retail releases (Gears 3, Forza 4, and Dance Central 2), and the biggest out of those three being overwhelmingly disappointing (Gears 3), the award goes to an arcade title. Outland, a metroidvania clone with an Ikaruga twist.

BEST PS3 EXCLUSIVE:

 

Gamers had to turn to the community to pick up Sony's slack.

TIE Little Big Planet 2 and Infamous 2 – PS3 had pound for pound better exclusives than the 360, but they all suffered heavily from sequel-itis, with every one of them just being bigger versions of their predecessors. LBP 2 and Infamous 2 just happen to be the most enjoyable out of these creativity absent products.

 

BEST WII EXCLUSIVE:

 

Skyward Sword was plagued with game design choices that were dumb as that bird looks.

Skyward Sword – There was no choice, but let me say this: Skyward Sword wasn’t very good. The entire game felt like it was made on a shoestring budget as Nintendo forced the player to re-visit several areas and fight an uninspired boss three times.  In fact, I would call it the worst 3D Zelda to date. Bravo Zelda, by winning every single Wii award at every site, you manage to silence any Nintendo fan boy who would otherwise argue that the Wii isn’t dead.

GAME BREAK!!!

Before we continue with video game awards, let’s stray away from the hobby I am becoming increasingly less passionate about.

TOP 5 MUSIC ALBUMS OF 2011:

1)      M83 – HURRY UP, WE’RE DREAMING

2)      BON IVER – BON IVER

3)      DESTROYER – KAPUTT

4)      THE ANTLERS – BURST APART

5)      DAS RACIST – RELAX

BEST TV SHOW –

If you haven't read the books, this guy right here is all you should care about.

Game of Thrones – Basically on the merit that didn’t mess that shit up. Seriously, read the books, it could’ve gone south fast.

MOST BORING THING TO HAPPEN IN 2011 (ALL CAPS TO KEEP YOUR ATTENTION)–

Claire Danes is actually a cow, and ironically enough, I believe she played the part of one in some HBO special.

 

THE TV SHOW HOMELAND –  RUNNER UP: THAT ONE TIME I WAITED IN LINE FOR FIVE HOURS TO GET ON SUPERMAN IN SIX FLAGS. BIT MORE EXCITING THOUGH BECAUSE I GOT A SUNBURN WHICH KEPT ME AWAKE. AND FOOTBALL.

BEST FOOD –

 

If you were expecting NOMNOMNOM, go stick your head in a deep fryer.

Sesame Chicken – Twenty Three years running, too GDLK.

 

BEST ELECTRONIC DEVICE –

 

My baby.

iPad 2 – Skinny is sexy and fast is sexy, so taking the already super fit iPad 1 and making it sexier causes it to be a shoe-in for this award.

BACK TO GAMES.

Let’s kick off the return to games with a bang, this game earned not one, not two, but three awards!

BEST MMO, BEST STAR WARS GAME, BEST GAME RELEASED 5 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS –

 

Be warned, that hot chick on the cover is actually a grandma in the game. False advertising indeed.

Star Wars: The Old Republic – Pretty fun game, it’s basically World of Warcraft with cut scenes and dialogue choices ala Mass Effect.

MOST OVERRATED GAME –

 

Nate is as lost as everyone with good taste when searching for the fun in UC3.

Uncharted 3 – Runner Up: Bastion. Uncharted 3 is the game for graphics whores who can’t afford a PC and wish that George Lucas was capable of making a good Indiana Jones sequel. Instead of complaining about 8.0 scores, fans should’ve been thankful that this fraud of a game received any praise. Bastion is the runner-up because it’s about somewhere between 2 hours and 10 minutes long. It’s also a pretty generic twin-stick shooter with leveling and progression.

WORST COMPANY THAT MAKES GOOD GAMES –

 

I found this on a Russian site, so blame them for the lack of wit.

CAPCOM – Between Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition (Aka Apology Edition) having to be patched because it was so badly balanced, the blatant trolling of their most dedicated fanbase (Megaman), and releasing a sequel within the same year of release (Marvel Vs Capcom 3), Capcom has nothing to be proud of. But I’ll still be playing their games.

WORST COMPANY THAT MAKES BAD GAMES –

 

Right you are, girl from one of SE's BAJILLION spinoffs!

SQUARE-ENIX – Final Fantasy 14. Enough said. No? Well I just received word that the pathetic cash-in attempt FF13-2 is doing abysmal in Japan. Here’s hoping the company goes under sooner rather than later.

Wow, all this negativity is making me look like a hater. Let’s finish up on a positive note.

BEST BAND THAT I DISCOVERED IN 2011 –

 

This is actually my first time seeing these people. They look cool, if not a bit bored.

LOS CAMPESINOS  – Thanks Spotify. Everyone should check out the album to Death to Los Campesinos, it rules.

GAME OF THE YEAR 2012 THAT I PLAYED IN 2011 –

 

Yeah, I'm pretty good. If you need some tips I do lessons, paypal 15$ an hour.

DOTA 2 – I’ve been in the beta for about 2 months now and it’s glorious. Like my “why you should play LoL” post, I’ll be making one for Dota 2.

 

And the award you’ve all been waiting for…

GAME OF THE YEAR –

 

Do not stare for too long, lest you risk getting spunk everywhere.

DARK SOULS – It might not be for everyone, and it’s certainly not without its faults, but Dark Souls was the game I found myself enjoying the most. Everything from the game’s art style to its gameplay just completely outdid the competition. If your good at video games pick it up immediately, otherwise stick to Skryim (shit!).

 

Thanks for reading, and here’s hoping that 2012 is as good of a year. Looking at the upcoming release schedule I can’t see myself playing that many games, but I’m sure I’ll make some time for a special few. Until then, stay happy.

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~ by spruchy on January 6, 2012.

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